Nostalgia. What a funny word. Nostalgia: a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. I think it’s funny because I can feel nostalgic for a moment that isn’t yet in the past. Nor does it have to be a happy association. I can feel nostalgia for the people who’ve hurt me so bad I feel like I’m running through mud after them. I can feel nostalgia for June 2nd, 2014: The (no longer since) happiest day of my life. I can even feel nostalgia for all of last May — when things were starting to look up, but was still the lowest I’ve ever felt. I can feel nostalgia for the time when I couldn’t feel anything at all. I can feel nostalgia when I’m on the beach after all this, running in my underwear out to the ocean and hoping it can hear my laughter and see me smile. All of these moments are indescribable. A fleeting second in my life, yes, but the memories will live on. Nostalgia is a word in which you feel sad for feeling happy. And I’m not sure whether that’s painful or beautiful or depressing. Maybe all of the above.